ON THE ROAD TO OVERCOMING LOSS:

 

 

I have experienced the loss of many loved ones, a brother, sisters, father, and various friends and family members. I experienced the loss of many material things as well. But the loss of my spouse was the most painful loss I ever went through. I lost part of myself. My emotions were all over the place. I went through anger, guilt, confusion, I experienced shock, loneliness, even playing the blame game. One minute I was happy, the next I was sad and in tears. Although these are all normal reactions to the grieving process, I perceived that life as I had known it was over. I actually thought I would never smile again. The pain was so great. How would I ever make it through this most difficult time in my life?

 

Oh, the hurt was so great, but believe it or not, I am now smiling. Don’t get me wrong, I still have my moments, and I am sure that I will still have them through-out my life time. But right now, it feels so good to smile, it feels so good to laugh, to really laugh.

 

While I was going through, I researched the grief process online. I found the steps to grieving very helpful. Through prayer, I have re-grouped the process, including some steps of my own, by using traffic lights, which for me, made it easier to understand.

 

While there is no right or wrong way to grieve, there are healthy ways to cope with the pain. You can get through it. You can be healed from the pain that you are feeling. If you obey the traffic lights, with the help of God, you can get to your destination of healing.

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RED LIGHT

COME TO A COMPLETE HALT!

 

At the red light we deal with the shock, disbelief, and denial – Right after a loss, it can be hard to accept what happened. Since the red light means to stop, we have to:

• STOP TRYING TO BE STRONG FOR EVERYONE ELSE.

• STOP TRYING TO ACT LIKE EVERYTHING IS NORMAL, THAT THERE ARE NO CHANGES IN YOUR LIFE.

• STOP LAUGHING WHEN YOU REALLY FEEL LIKE CRYING.

(remember, when Jesus’ friend Lazarus died, Jesus wept. That’s right, Jesus cried. He loss someone that was dear to him, his friends were hurting as well. So let it go. )

 

• STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT THE PEOPLE MAY SAY ABOUT YOU OR YOUR LOVED ONE.

• STOP TRYING TO GET TO THE GREEN LIGHT TOO FAST. IN OTHER WORDS, DON’T DENY YOURSELF THE TIME YOU NEED TO HEAL.

• STOP TRYING TO DEAL WITH IT ALL BY YOUR SELF. ALLOW FRIENDS, AND FAMILY TO AID YOU, TO HELP YOU. THEY CAN BE INVALUABLE TO YOU AT THIS TIME.

• STOP NEGLECTING YOURSELF. REST IS IMPORTANT, EAT REGULARY, DON’T NEGLECT YOUR HYGIENE OR PERSONAL APPEARANCE.

 

Word helps!

Isaiah: 4-5 Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows.

 

Hebrews 4:15-16
For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need

 

I Peter 5:7
…casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

 

KEEP YOUR FOOT ON THE BRAKE, STAY RIGHT THERE, JESUS WILL SEE YOU THROUGH THIS.

 

(proceed to the caution light)

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Dr. J. G. Johnson 

Issues of Life Conquered

 

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