CONQUERING THE PAIN OF INFIDELITY:                                                                                      

Another Personal Testimony on Overcoming the Pain of Infidelity

 

          This was a most painful experience. I loved my spouse with everything within me. When I learned of their unfaithfulness, I was devastated to the point of almost giving up. We were both saved and ministering in the church. I knew the Lord had blessed my marriage and I could not believe that this could happen. Not to me. Not after all the love we expressed to each other, not after all the pain and suffering both of us had endured in previous relationships. I became angry and despondent. I was bitter and was constantly lashing out. Even though my spouse apologized, and even though I said I accepted their apology, I refused to forgive. I constantly reminded them of what they had done and I wanted some understanding as to why it happened. I was good to my spouse, I gave all that I had to give and that was not enough. I constantly reminded them of what they had done and forgiveness was not going to play a part in mending this broken relationship. To add insult to injury, they were no help, they said “you” are going to have to get over it and move on. This only made me angrier. Outwardly, I smiled and pretended all was well. But it was far from being well. I needed some help, but I did not know where to turn. This was my secret, my pain and somehow, I needed to deal with it. Somehow, I needed to overcome. Someway, somehow I needed to grow from here.

 

          Even though I was hurting, I still wanted my marriage. Even though I was angry, I was still in love. And we all know what the Bible says about love, “it covers a multitude of faults.” But how could love cover this? It was just too big, too much. Even though the Bible gives adultery as grounds for divorce, this was not what I wanted. I wanted my marriage. So I had to do what it took to save my marriage. I had to forgive them of this awful treachery. I had to stop reminding him of the pain he caused me. I had to stop talking about it so much. I had to stop stirring up the dirt. I had to talk to the Lord, more and more and more. The more I talked to God, the easier it got. Even though I was not the offending party, I had to put my marriage in the hand of the Lord. I had to forgive and move  on. I had  let go and let God.

 

      After much prayer and the shedding of many tears, I finally allowed God to work in my behalf.  I finally realized that being constantly belligerent was not the answer. (Romans 12:2b) My mindset had to be transformed. My marriage was saved because I allowed God to work it out.

 

     I realized that overcoming the hurt was not contingent upon my forgetting that the act ever happened. Overcoming the hurt was contingent upon putting my trust in Jesus Christ and allowing him to restore my trust in my mate. Overcoming the hurt was contingent upon acting on the Word of God and believing that He rewards those that diligently seek Him.

 

  Matthew 6:14: For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly  Father will also forgive you.                                                                 

 

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“Consequences of Infidelity”

 

     What if you are the one who committed the adulterous act ? What consequences do you pay if any? I know that God’s word does not lie. He says in his word, “ Be not deceived, God is not mocked, whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” In other words, what goes around comes around.

 

When I was the one who was unfaithful, I was on top of the world. Everything appeared to be going right for me. I had the best of both worlds. I was married, but I also had a lover. Everything that was wrong with my spouse, was right with my lover, or so I thought. He made me feel like a princess. Going out to lunch, out to dinner, receiving flowers and romance. I had it all. Before long, I was ready to leave home, ready to give up my marriage. It seemed to me that I had everything I wanted. So I left home. I gave up everything.

 

     When I said that God’s word doesn’t lie, you can believe that it doesn’t. The cheater became the one who was cheated on. Here I had given up everything and for what? To be lied to, to be cheated on, to be betrayed. I realized that what I was looking for, I already had. What I thought was love, was just a feeling. A passing feeling. For as soon as I became completely available, I was no longer wanted. He only wanted me because I unavailable, or at least I should have been. Once I made myself “his” he said it was all a mistake. He moved on to the next conquest. (read more)

 

     

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